Since nobody reads this, I feel free to express myself! The problem with daughter in laws is ... in my opinion ... a sentence that leads to conflict, distancing and arguments.
But if we must finish that sentence? The problem with daughter in laws, from the mother in law's perspective, might be one of many things. And it well depends on the mother in law's perceptions of her place in her married son's life.
This whole issue - mother in laws and daughter in laws - is so loaded with tension and conflict, it's a wonder there are any mother in laws and daughter in laws who get along. It's a wonder we aren't hearing horror stories of undercover agents hired by both "sides" to get rid of the other.
From what I read on the boards - even the board I like - the problem with daugher in laws and mother in laws is who we each think the other is, and who we think we are.
There are so many ways the roles can be played, it is impossible and incorrect to broadly place a daughter in law or a mother in law in the position of victim or bully, wrong party or Queen Manipulator.
It isn't a matter of the Title that gives the power, though you would think so if you read the boards. All Daughter in Laws are < fill in the blank > All Mother in Laws are < fill in the blank > .
The problem with daughter in laws is that they are people. The problem with mother in laws is that they are people. Flawed, with different degrees of maturity and perceptions of their own position in the lives of the others.
Sadly for those who get locked into the dramas, the problem with daughter in laws and mother in laws is that they seem to forget we are only here for a very short time. It can all end, literally, in a heart beat.
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Hi.
ReplyDeleteLast month I stumbled upon your blog when I was trying a new approach with my mother in law. Some of your posts helped me, a lot. My mother in law does not talk about her feelings and I talk about my feelings and everything else for that matter. Anyway...I just wanted to "finally" leave you a comment and say thanks for the perspective.
I hope someday we both find ourselves in happy relationships with our "in laws" because I agree, life is too short.
I'm including a link to my mother in law post if you're interested.
http://krazi8.blogspot.com/2009/11/relationship.html
Kerri